Caught up in the crisis

I just ate cold pizza from the fridge. So, it was homemade, whole wheat crust, and covered with fresh veggies. It was still leftover and cold, and that's not a good sign. Then I ate stale, florescent, sour gummy worms. It's that bad. I've been running around on the verge of puking, checking my bank balance and my mailbox several times a day. When are those checks coming? When are my bills due? Did my bank collapse? I need to turn off Marketplace and do some yoga. I think we all should.

And then I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Business is good. People are terrific. Life is wonderful." OK. Right. Stress isn't really helping anything. I'm gonna put on my Deepak Chopra tape and try to appreciate all the things that aren't going wrong right now. And book a few more babysitting jobs. Then drink a margarita and go dancing like crazy at my friend's birthday party tonight.

Anybody else have a good idea about how to chill out?